Blog Archives
Thoughts From the Past Thursday: Prepare for the Inevitable
As another graduation season approaches, I am once again reminded of this sobering youth ministry fact. This was originally posted on June 14th, 2011.
There is something about teenagers that every youth worker needs to realize. This is going to happen to 100% of the students in every ministry. It is never a major surprise when it happens but often times it is tragic.
They get to old to attend youth programs.
The typical youth ministry does a pretty bad job of preparing teenagers for this, which is one of the major contributing factors to one of the most embarrassing statistics attached to youth ministry; the percentage of graduates that remain in the church. (I believe there are several contributing factors to this, not just this one)
What has been the typical response when this inevitable event occurs? If your church counts weekend attendance using more than 3 zeros you transition them on to the 18-24 year old program. If not, we either send them off to “big church” not expecting to ever see them again or we make them a volunteer leader in the youth ministry. Any of these, especially in smaller churches, have minimal rates of success (typically) and sometimes produce more problems.
Right now after celebrating another graduation season and taking a hard truthful look at our entire youth ministry I am wondering how we can do better. I have been working with teenagers for over a decade and my personal track record does not beat the average of how many of those former youth group members are actively living for and serving God. Here are a few hard questions I have asked myself.
Does relationship end at the same time as their program attendance?
The core message of the Bible is relationship; with God, with other Christians, and with the world. Even guys I have personally discipled for years I hardly ever (or never) talk to after graduation. Yes, there is a list of excuses, not to mention the list of new students that come in as the old ones graduate, but I am embarrassed to admit how bad I am at keeping in touch.
Ultimately it is not MY relationship with them that matters most, but their relationship with God. If all we have done in our four to six years with them is attaching their faith to our programs we are setting them up for failure. They need to know how to grow in their faith on their own, not just at church.
What is my real goal for them?
Is the goal of youth ministry behavior modification? For a lot of parents, church boards, and even youth workers it is. I realize how bad that sounds, but if we feel successful based on how many students are in the church’s graduating class, and how many of those are still virgins and/or don’t have a criminal record then it probably is.
Our goal for them needs to be spiritual transformation. Programs can certainly aid in that goal, but they are just a means to this goal, not the goal itself. A lot of what I see in the youth ministry world is program ideas. I need some more spiritual transformation ideas. I know how to entertain students, I am still trying to figure out more ways I can aid God in transforming them from His creation to His child. How can I help them move God from just savior to actually being their Lord? From trying so hard to blend into the world to sharing God’s heart and wanting to change the world?
Every student that I meet is going to get too old to attend our youth ministry. I don’t want to be a part of setting them up for failure any longer. Are you with me? What are some of your “spiritual transformation” ideas?
Thoughts From the Past Thursday: Leading the Way or Hindering the Journey?
This post has been getting quite a bit of traffic lately, and I am not sure why. But, that is why I chose to share it again this week. It was originally posted July 11th, 2011.
When was the last time you thought about your own spiritual journey? If you are a Spiritual leader of any kind; a youth worker, a parent, or a believer for that matter you need to think about it.
Over the past several months of my life, I have thought a lot about my own spiritual journey. It started with my bike wreck; you can read about that here. It continued with a visit to Spokane,WA and the church I accepted Christ as my personal savior at when I was six years old.
It continued as I sought God about the youth ministry I lead, evaluate how we are doing things, and what needs to change for us to move forward. And it all seemed to culminate at Jr. High camp a few weeks ago (you can read about that here and how it affected me here).
I am sure there has been much written about spiritual journeys and the transformation process, but a summary that has helped me sort all this out is from George Barna’s recent book Maximum Faith. He summarizes it as 10 stops on the transformation journey:
Stop 1: Ignorance of and indifferent to sin
Stop 2: Aware of and indifferent to sin
Stop 3: Concerned about the implications of personal sin
Stop 4: Confess sins and ask Jesus Christ to be their savior
Stop 5: Commitment to faith activities (behavior modification)
Stop 6: Experience a prolonged period of spiritual discontent
Stop 7: Experiencing personal brokenness
Stop 8: Choosing to surrender and submit fully to God: radical dependence (Jesus becomes Lord)
Stop 9: Enjoy a profound intimacy with and love for God
Stop 10: Experience a profound compassion and love for humanity (see the world through God’s eyes)
*The parenthesis is my interpretation/summary/clarification of the stop
Where are you at on this transformation journey? Especially if you are a full time pastor, chances are you have not had to honestly answer that question in many years, maybe never. Many people never make it beyond stop 6, and during that time of spiritual discontent either leave the church completely (like after graduation) or settle back into stop 5 thinking that is all the church, and God, has to offer them. So where are you?
I can honestly tell you that God, over the past few years or so, has slung me from stop 5 to stop 9 in a whirlwind of experiences. As I reflect on all this, two key things keep popping up in my mind and heart.
I cannot lead someone where I have not been myself
Most churches (especially youth ministries) do a great job programming up to stop 5. Stop 6 through 10 become very personal and nearly impossible to program. The only way I can help anyone through those last five stops is by personal encouragement, prayer, and leading by example (sounds a lot like discipleship). If I have not gone through those stops myself, I cannot guide anyone else through them. It does not matter if that person is a teenager, my own sons, or my next door neighbor. If I have not navigated through those stops, no one I am leading will either.
I will not ask a student to do something I will not do myself
This has been one of my core values as a youth worker from day one. I tell my volunteer team this applies to everything from scrubbing a toilet on a retreat to reading my Bible daily and everything in between. We all follow what we see before what we hear, especially if you are under the age of 18. So what example are you setting? Not by what you say, teach, or preach; by what you do. Your own spiritual journey is the most important thing for you to focus on as a spiritual leader, yet the more we “do” the more we tend to neglect our own faith.
When is the last time you read the Bible just to read, not for a lesson or to prepare a message? When have you prayed for more than a few minutes and not done all the talking? When have you been in silence for more than the time it takes to go to the bathroom? When did you last fast?
1 Corinthians 11:1 (NIV) 1Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
What example are you really setting?
I Like Milk!!
The last couple days have been a struggle to get everyone ready and out the door in the morning. I have three boys and I have “Dad duty” every morning to get us all ready for the day and dropped off at school/daycare.
I am not complaining at all, in fact I value the time I have with my boys in the morning, especially because of the evenings I am gone with church stuff. The biggest challenge has been with our youngest who just turned 4, and this morning I realized at least one of the reasons why.
I am very (very, very, very) happy to be done with the baby stage. No more five point car seats, no more feeding schedules, no more diapers, no more…(I could go on but if you have a baby I don’t want to depress you too much). When I see families with babies or toddlers it only reminds me how glad I am to be done with that phase of our life.
This morning as Cameron struggled with his attitude (and so did I) I realized that my expectations of him were not realistic. I am so glad for our boys to have some independence I forget what is appropriate for a four year old. His older brothers can do it, so he should be able to as well…but I easily forget that they are two and four years older than him.
For him to learn and mature I need to have realistic expectations and take the time to help and teach him. Otherwise we will both be extremely frustrated, which is not good for either one of us. But it isn’t just about me, I have to teach and he has to learn and try.
What is true in the physical world is often times true in the Spiritual world.
Hebrews 5:11-14 (NIV) We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
Here we see some lazy Christians being called out on their lack of growth. As a spiritual leader I need to have realistic expectations for those I am teaching and discipling, and they need to learn, try, and actually grow.
Take a moment and think about how many students in your sphere of influence need milk and now many need solid food. Is your teaching and your expectations appropriate? If they aren’t growing what needs to change? Is it you? Is it them? Most likely it is a combination of both.
I realize for me with my own kids and for the teenagers God has put in my life it is a combination of both. How about for you?
Conform or Transform?
I have been thinking a lot about spiritual transformation and how that really happens lately, especially with how that effects youth ministry. This past weekend I lead our senior high students through a weekend retreat, and I felt led to do something different this year. Before I get into what we did and how it worked, let me first give you the scriptural basis.
Romans 12:2 (NIV) 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Transform, don’t conform. This verse talks about not conforming to the world, which obviously we don’t want students to do. But I also think that a lot of Christians, teenagers or not, are still just conforming; the only difference is what they are conforming to. The Christian RELIGION is about conforming your life to a new set of rules or list of do’s and don’ts. But CHRISTIANITY is supposed to be about transforming, which is rooted in relationship with Christ. Look back over the messages/teaching/Bible studies you have done in the past few months. Have you talked about relationship as much as you have talked about modifying behavior? I have challenged myself to constantly ask that question because I want to point these students toward transformation, not just conforming to a different standard. Everyone’s transformation journey starts with changing the standard we conform to, I am not saying that we don’t need religion. In fact it plays a very important part in our transformation journey, but we can’t be content with stopping there.
Colossians 2:19 (NIV) 19 He has lost connection with the Head [Christ], from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow.
Only God can transform someone. Only God can make the body grow. As a youth worker and a Spiritual leader, I must realize this. It is a lot easier to program someone toward conforming than toward transforming. I must seek God on when is the right time for me to get in front and teach and when I need to get out of the way and let the Holy Spirit do the teaching.
These are the thoughts and verses that dictated our retreat this last weekend. I looked at the students that were going and where I thought they were Spiritually, and realized I needed to change my plan of attack. The weekend was awesome…and I will tell you about it in the next post!
Until then I challenge you to look at yourself and your own teaching and ask the question: Am I facilitating transformation or just conforming to a different standard?
Book Review: Maximum Faith: Live Like Jesus by George Barna
I have mentioned this book several times on my blog in the past, but I thought it was time to do an actual book review on it. 
There have been many books that have influenced my life and ministry, this one is in the top five for sure.
I am not usually a fan of wide scale survey results, lots of statistics, and charts. I will admit I have not read much of Barna’s stuff, but the reputation that precedes him is wide scale survey results, lots of statistics, and charts which made me almost not read this book at all. But it was recommended by one of the other Pastors at my church so I decided to give it a chance. I am very glad I did.
The book is split into 3 sections. The first lays out the transformation journey and how George discovered it. The second section is a personal story of a girl named Jennifer as she goes through the stops of the transformation journey. And section 3 gives some practical ideas on how to travel the journey yourself as well as how churches can help people navigate down the road of transformation.
The book is pretty long, over 200 pages, so it definitely is one you will have to commit to reading. However, the meat of the book is in sections one and three, if you skipped section two all together it cuts out half of the length. You might enjoy the mix of journal excerpts, life stories, and personal conversations but I didn’t.
The last negative thing I have to say is there are several typos and obvious grammar mistakes in the book, which was disappointing.
This book really hit me on a personal level as well as a professional/ministry level. I think the lack of spiritual transformation is at the core of many issues and problems in our churches today, mine included. This book speaks to the problem and gives some good tips and ideas on how to better minister people toward true transformation.
He makes the point in the book, and I agree strongly, that most churches are pretty good at ministering to stops two through five. But as soon as people hit stop six the modern church basically programs them back into stop five, which is where most of our Christian population is stuck. In my current youth ministry context, I have realized I have a lot more student in stop six than I ever realized. And as a student ministry we were not doing a lot to help them continue to grow. Many of the changes we have made to our programs and structure are aimed directly at this issue. I want to be about spiritual transformation, not behavior modification. This book has helped me make some big strides toward that end.
I gave all ten stops of the transformation journey in a past post, click here if you want to read them. But don’t let that deter you from buying this book and reading it for yourself. Like I said, this is in my top five. I think it will help you too.
Do you have a Bible?
About a month ago I sat down with our youth ministry teaching team and we discussed what our goals were going to be for the school year. One of the goals we identified was to help develop in our students “a love and understanding of the Bible.” As a group, we felt like we have not done a great job of this, and we desire to do better. Yesterday during my small group, I realized how poor of a job we have really been doing.
We had challenged our guys to read James chapter 1 every morning last week as they started their day. When we met yesterday we talked about what was hard about doing that, if it helped them at all, what they pulled out of the passage, etc., etc. We had a great discussion.
One of the guys in my group is a Junior in high school, has been a part of our ministry since starting 7th grade, and surprised me in a few ways. First, he did not have a Bible of his own (at least that he knew about and/or could find). Second, he had to look in the table of contents to find James more than once during our time. Third, he had incredible insights that he had gleaned from only reading the passage twice during the week.
These things weren’t surprises because of this particular student, it surprised me because it showed how poor of a job our ministry has done at helping him know his Bible and fall in love with scripture. Sure we use scripture in our large group messages, and I know he understands the common stories and key verses of our faith. Yet, this is his fifth year of small groups and he has not made it past the first layer of scripture. Yet by his observations he contributed yesterday I know he is vary capable of it. I understand he has some responsibility in this, but I also understand he has done most everything we have asked of him over these 5 years and yet personal Bible study is still relatively new to him.
Here are a few things we are changing this year to help with this trend:
1. We are asking our students to bring their Bibles on Wednesday nights
By printing the scriptures on handouts and projecting them up front we have enabled our students to leave their Bibles at home. The heart behind doing this is pure; to not make visitors feel left out by not having a Bible, yet at the same time we have trained our regulars to never bring it.
2. We commit to having them actually use their Bibles regularly as a part of our program
If we encourage them to bring their Bibles, but never give them the chance to actually open them and use them we are missing the point. Your Bible should not be a part of the “Christian uniform” required to enter the event. So, we must have some Bibles available to use for those that didn’t bring one. We also have Bibles to give to students that don’t have one of their own.
3. We will get out of the way
If all we do is teach from or about the Bible upfront, we might be getting in the way of the Holy Spirit speaking to them personally through scripture. We plan to teach from upfront on Sunday mornings, and focus on interactive and/or experiential teaching on Wednesdays. As a part of small groups, we need to be better at teaching how to personally study the Bible, and then encourage them to actually do themselves.
16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,17 so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV)
The Bible is central to the Christian faith. Is it central in your day to day life? Is it central to your ministry? If we aren’t reading it, we can never “do what it says” (James 1:22)
Leading the Way or Hindering the Journey?
When was the last time you thought about your own spiritual journey? If you are a Spiritual leader of any kind; a youth worker, a parent, or a believer for that matter you need to think about it.
Over the past several months of my life, I have thought a lot about my own spiritual journey. It started with my bike wreck; you can read about that here. It continued with a visit to Spokane,WA and the church I accepted Christ as my personal savior at when I was six years old.
It continued as I sought God about the youth ministry I lead, evaluate how we are doing things, and what needs to change for us to move forward. And it all seemed to culminate at Jr. High camp a few weeks ago (you can read about that here and how it affected me here).
I am sure there has been much written about spiritual journeys and the transformation process, but a summary that has helped me sort all this out is from George Barna’s recent book Maximum Faith. He summarizes it as 10 stops on the transformation journey:
Stop 1: Ignorance of and indifferent to sin
Stop 2: Aware of and indifferent to sin
Stop 3: Concerned about the implications of personal sin
Stop 4: Confess sins and ask Jesus Christ to be their savior
Stop 5: Commitment to faith activities (behavior modification)
Stop 6: Experience a prolonged period of spiritual discontent
Stop 7: Experiencing personal brokenness
Stop 8: Choosing to surrender and submit fully to God: radical dependence (Jesus becomes Lord)
Stop 9: Enjoy a profound intimacy with and love for God
Stop 10: Experience a profound compassion and love for humanity (see the world through God’s eyes)
*The parenthesis is my interpretation/summary/clarification of the stop
Where are you at on this transformation journey? Especially if you are a full time pastor, chances are you have not had to honestly answer that question in many years, maybe never. Many people never make it beyond stop 6, and during that time of spiritual discontent either leave the church completely (like after graduation) or settle back into stop 5 thinking that is all the church, and God, has to offer them. So where are you?
I can honestly tell you that God, over the past few years or so, has slung me from stop 5 to stop 9 in a whirlwind of experiences. As I reflect on all this, two key things keep popping up in my mind and heart.
I cannot lead someone where I have not been myself
Most churches (especially youth ministries) do a great job programming up to stop 5. Stop 6 through 10 become very personal and nearly impossible to program. The only way I can help anyone through those last five stops is by personal encouragement, prayer, and leading by example (sounds a lot like discipleship). If I have not gone through those stops myself, I cannot guide anyone else through them. It does not matter if that person is a teenager, my own sons, or my next door neighbor. If I have not navigated through those stops, no one I am leading will either.
I will not ask a student to do something I will not do myself
This has been one of my core values as a youth worker from day one. I tell my volunteer team this applies to everything from scrubbing a toilet on a retreat to reading my Bible daily and everything in between. We all follow what we see before what we hear, especially if you are under the age of 18. So what example are you setting? Not by what you say, teach, or preach; by what you do. Your own spiritual journey is the most important thing for you to focus on as a spiritual leader, yet the more we “do” the more we tend to neglect our own faith.
When is the last time you read the Bible just to read, not for a lesson or to prepare a message? When have you prayed for more than a few minutes and not done all the talking? When have you been in silence for more than the time it takes to go to the bathroom? When did you last fast?
1 Corinthians 11:1 (NIV) 1Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
What example are you really setting?
Back to the “Real World”
This past week has been interesting. After returning home from camp and sharing in the main service about the miracle God did, this week I returned to the “real world”. Even with the Holy Spirit moving in a new way there is still office work to get done, phone calls to return, emails to answer, and upcoming events to finalize. Amidst all of the “normal” work this week I have had an abundance of conversations with people and how this whole event has affected them.
I must say, I have loved all of the conversations. I have loved the honest questions and the courage it has taken to ask them. I have loved the genuine thirst for more of God’s Spirit and Truth. I have loved hearing how this miracle has and continues to bear fruit for God’s kingdom.
During one of these conversations someone asked me “How are you different after this whole experience?” This is not an entirely easy question to answer, but as I have thought and prayed about it, my answer is based on these verses:
Luke 9:23 – 24 (NIV) 23Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”
I am at 100% instead of 98%
My commitment has not changed. I have always been committed to God and given Him a lot. But, there has always been that 2% of me, the thought in the back of my mind; “what if it isn’t all true?” I can say now with complete conviction, that 2% is not there anymore. After this experience I truly have lost my life for God, He wants 100% and that is exactly what He has now.
I feel humbled
Through the past 8 months of my life I have realized it over and over again and even more so in the past week; I am a pretty selfish person. Sure, I have denied myself in some areas, perhaps even many areas of my life compared to others. But the standard God compares to is not other people, it is himself. Compared to God I am an incredibly selfish person. I have realized how a lot of my decisions are based more on my self and my own ego than on God and His standards. I want to actually deny myself and take up my cross. This is a daily battle, but one I cannot ever give up on.
I feel empowered
Jesus says in this passage that if I can truly deny myself and give Him my life, that I will actually save it. I am more invested and more humbled than I have ever been before, and I feel more alive and more excited about what God will do in and through me than ever before. The point of any miracle is that God’s kingdom will be advanced, both through first time commitments and deepened and/or revitalized relationships. Both have happened for many people because of this experience, and I cannot wait to see how God will use this miracle and me to further his kingdom.
After this experience I don’t know what the future holds for my family, for my church, for my writing, or for speaking opportunities. What I do know is that my relationship with God, how I walk through life daily, and how I serve and minister to teenagers and adults will never be the same and I am forever grateful to God for that.
“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” –Jesus (John 10:10)
Prepare for the Inevitable
There is something about teenagers that every youth worker needs to realize. This is going to happen to 100% of the students in every ministry. It is never a major surprise when it happens but often times it is tragic.
They get to old to attend youth programs.
The typical youth ministry does a pretty bad job of preparing teenagers for this, which is one of the major contributing factors to one of the most embarrassing statistics attached to youth ministry; the percentage of graduates that remain in the church. (I believe there are several contributing factors to this, not just this one)
What has been the typical response when this inevitable event occurs? If your church counts weekend attendance using more than 3 zeros you transition them on to the 18-24 year old program. If not, we either send them off to “big church” not expecting to ever see them again or we make them a volunteer leader in the youth ministry. Any of these, especially in smaller churches, have minimal rates of success (typically) and sometimes produce more problems.
Right now after celebrating another graduation season and taking a hard truthful look at our entire youth ministry I am wondering how we can do better. I have been working with teenagers for over a decade and my personal track record does not beat the average of how many of those former youth group members are actively living for and serving God. Here are a few hard questions I have asked myself.
Does relationship end at the same time as their program attendance?
The core message of the Bible is relationship; with God, with other Christians, and with the world. Even guys I have personally discipled for years I hardly ever (or never) talk to after graduation. Yes, there is a list of excuses, not to mention the list of new students that come in as the old ones graduate, but I am embarrassed to admit how bad I am at keeping in touch.
Ultimately it is not MY relationship with them that matters most, but their relationship with God. If all we have done in our four to six years with them is attaching their faith to our programs we are setting them up for failure. They need to know how to grow in their faith on their own, not just at church.
What is my real goal for them?
Is the goal of youth ministry behavior modification? For a lot of parents, church boards, and even youth workers it is. I realize how bad that sounds, but if we feel successful based on how many students are in the church’s graduating class, and how many of those are still virgins and/or don’t have a criminal record then it probably is.
Our goal for them needs to be spiritual transformation. Programs can certainly aid in that goal, but they are just a means to this goal, not the goal itself. A lot of what I see in the youth ministry world is program ideas. I need some more spiritual transformation ideas. I know how to entertain students, I am still trying to figure out more ways I can aid God in transforming them from His creation to His child. How can I help them move God from just savior to actually being their Lord? From trying so hard to blend into the world to sharing God’s heart and wanting to change the world?
Every student that I meet is going to get too old to attend our youth ministry. I don’t want to be a part of setting them up for failure any longer. Are you with me? What are some of your “spiritual transformation” ideas?
