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I stink at this…
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The other day in my devotions I read Colossians chapter 2; Paul mentions false humility twice (verse 18 & 23). As I have read these verses in several different versions and looked at commentaries and references, I realize this is something that really bothers me. The idea of acting and speaking in a humble manner just to cover up your arrogance . Purposefully giving the perception of humbleness when the truth is pride overflows in your heart.
With all of the big conferences and meetings I have been to, I have experienced some speakers and authors that are really good at false humility. They constantly tell you about how success has fallen in their lap, drop name after name into conversation, and rattle off their amazing credentials and resume with ease. Then the closing line always makes an appearance “it isn’t about me though.”
I have also met just as many nationally known authors and speakers that are the exact opposite of this. They genuinely care about God’s success, not their own. They pass off honor and accolades to those that help them do what they do.
I am writing this today to openly admit my struggle. Arrogance bugs me to the core, nothing makes my skin crawl more than hanging around a conceited person. I am very uncomfortable with self-promotion and marketing my own stuff. Because it is uncomfortable for me I over compensate and do it wrong. I am a horrible salesman. I have yet to write a proposal for a book or a speaking engagement that has been successful. I stink at this.
Whenever I have gained the opportunity to speak or share about my book I feel like I fail at it because I am so scared of being perceived as arrogant or self-promoting. Yesterday I led a discussion in an advanced youth ministry class at NNU. I was asked to do this and to talk about my book. It did not go as well as it could have because of this struggle that continues to rage in my heart and mind. I want so badly to help God change the landscape of youth ministry, which is why I wrote the book in the first place. Yet, I stink at marketing and promotion and so books aren’t selling. I think the only point I clearly communicated to that class yesterday was how I didn’t want to market my book to them. I love speaking and teaching about God’s word, I don’t like promoting my own stuff.
Alright…I said it. I openly admit my struggle and weakness,and with it comes a deep breath. I say all this not only to “think out loud” but also to share what I am learning from this struggle so it can hopefully help you with whatever you struggle with.
1. Acknowledge where you are weak
I realize this is a major weakness for me. With deciding to self-publish my book I knew that I would have to market and promote myself. I had no idea how bad I would be at it and/or how much time and energy it would take. No one is good at everything, we all have weaknesses. I realize now this is a major one for me.
2. Seek the right kind of help
As I have stewed over this post for a few days, I received some great advice. I need to be praying for God to raise up the right person in my life that is good at marketing and promotion, so I don’t have to do what I am not good at or comfortable with. So as I pray for this I have to keep my eyes open for the right person and opportunity.
3. Let everyone do what they are good at
I have to be willing to hand over responsibility when someone agrees to help. I have to be a team player and fulfill my role of writing and speaking as best I can, and let them do their role as best they can without controlling it. My way is obviously not working, but it can be really hard to let someone else do things their way.
I realized these concepts are ones I need to live out in many other areas of my life, not just with my book. The more I can do these, the less I will hold myself back from what God really wants to accomplish through me. What are you not good at? What is an inner struggle that you have? How are these holding you back?
Perfect Youth Worker? I Think Not…
I hope you have had one of these weeks; a week with both an extreme failure and an extreme victory; then sprinkled with a little bit of everything in between. As I reflect back over this week I can’t help but ask myself why I am in the position I am in. What is my motivation, what is my goal, and how do I define for myself what success is. Am I working to be the ‘perfect youth worker’; or for something else?
The problem with the idea of ‘the perfect youth worker’ is this, there is no such thing! That’s the problem, it’s just an idea, and everyone has their own opinion of what the perfect youth worker is. Your senior pastor has their idea, each church lay leader has their idea, parents have another idea, each student could offer their opinion, and even the church janitor would give another view. As I think about all these different expectations and the effort and time it would take to even come close to meeting half of them, I am tempted to start writing my resignation letter instead of this article. And I haven’t even started to look at the expectations I have put on myself.
Wow, I am exhausted just writing about it, not to mention trying to live up to it. I realize though how easy it is to fall into this thinking. Just today in a matter of hours I went from dealing with parents crying because their student has entered quickly into the ‘I am 18 and ruining my life as fast as I can’ phase and asking me to fix it. To a few hours later sitting in Starbucks with a leadership student and helping them lead a friend to Christ they have been praying for for years. Youth ministry can be a crazy roller coaster ride of ups and downs. And if my goal is to hit my expectation, or someone else’s expectation of the perfect youth pastor, I want off of this ride sooner than later.
But, as I look at the greatest commandments and the great commission, I can see God’s expectation of what success is. Success for me is being faithful to the call God has placed on my life. I can not make every student in our youth group make the right decision every time, I can not make someone open their life to God, I can not do any of these things. I can not claim the failure as mine, and I can not claim the victory as mine either. Only God can give someone salvation, only the student can make the decision for their life. As a youth worker, my job is to be a faithful servant of God, follow His leading, and then let Him work.
2 Timothy 4:2 – 5 (NIV) 2Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. 3For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.
No matter how much the expectations of me change; God’s word remains constant. As long as I stay faithful to God, His purposes, and His calling on my life, I know I can meet His expectation of faithful servant, which is much easier to accomplish than perfect youth pastor!
